Gary, with his profound understanding of the relationships between men and women, writes the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, in which he offers us an insight on how different men and women are, and how difficult yet beautiful loving each other can be.
When I bought this book, I didn’t realize how old this book was; it is from the 1990s, 1992 to be exact. But as I read this book though, it didn’t seem at all obsolete. That, I believe, is because of Gary’s amazing understanding of the opposite sexes and their relationship with each other. And since we are, and have been, so different from each other, and that our relationships need a better understanding, this book from Gary may never be too old to read. It is universal.
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus By John Gary
Initially, let’s talk about that metaphor for a second. Throughout this book, the metaphor (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) is so well built and told that it makes it easier for the readers to accept the differences that they have, and also their origination. Men are from Mars which is a planet for the strong people, where they hardly ask for support. But when they do need it, they straight out ask for it; they don’t beat around the bushes. Martians go to their caves and become quiet when they are going through a rough time. They are masculine, as we believe men to be, but they are also loving deep within.
Venusians, on the other hand, love to share. They share their love, pain, support, and pretty much everything; they look after each other in the most literal ways; and they talk when they are upset so that they could empty their heart, but not necessarily, seek a solution. They talk to be heard. And they love; their love is abundant and excessive. But they also feel to be loved the same way. They are talkative and supportive, but they might come out too assertive at times.
Believe me, when I say, these are just the highlights of how differently men and women live. And they lived among their own people for many years on their planets, until they did no longer. They found each other eventually and Martians moved to Venus, and vice versa, but then ended up on Earth where they lived together from then on. But their differences were seen and respected, therefore they made rules just to make sure they lived happily and didn’t misinterpret each other.
But as the years passed, the book of rules was lost, and men and women started to fight more and hurt each other more. They forgot that they actually were from different planets and that they lived differently. Then comes, Gary, all these years later, so let us know of our differences and how we are supposed to live together in peace. He brought us this book.
So this is how well built the metaphor is. It helps you not only understand the concepts in a more relatable way but also makes you appreciative of the differences that lie within us. And then, this book is about how to live together and be complementary to each other’s differences. By understanding how each of us loves, expects, feels, gets hurt, and wants the other one to behave, the way through then becomes clear where we can live peacefully again.
Knowing that the two of you may want the same things but differently, makes you more caring and appreciative of your partner. It doesn’t mean you to try to live according to one set of rules, either Martian’s or Venusian’s, but rather accept some of the differences and compromise on others. And where possible, find a way where both the sexes feel fulfilled, heard and loved.
This book highlights essential truths about how we speak different languages, how our way of supporting each other is different, how different our emotional needs are, how differently we score the efforts of our partners and many more. All of this, by the end of this book, helps you build an idea that, yes, women are actually from Venus, or yes, men are actually from Mars – that we are different and it is okay. It is only that we don’t know the differences that we become demanding or start feeling entitled to our relationships.
“It is never too early to increase the love in your life. You only need to learn a new way.”
There are more breakups, divorces and broken hearts today than ever before. It is because we have lost the idea how we are different, and yet we are so self-obsessed that all we can see is ourselves in the relationships and how we feel we need to be treated – all irrespective of our partner’s feelings.
This book is important in the context of living in a more harmonious way where together is better than alone. All of the hate, misunderstandings, and aches shouldn’t compel us to live alone in our Venusian or Martian way, but rather make us strive for a life, away, where we both can live together and be happy and at peace. Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus, is that exact book to help us achieve that greater goal where love can be born and grow in different ways.
My praise for the novel:
The metaphor in this book explains the truths better than reality could.
“You then live as if you and your partner are from different planets;
And that’s a big win for you both.”