What is Life?
Sitting in the veranda, a book in hand and the coffee beside you in an equilibrium state in the right arm of your chair just where it has to be, and splashing sound of water droplets falling down from the ceiling or much high from the dense clouds. Your eyes catch the freshness of cold air and your muscles shrink themselves in unity. Finally, after a long time, the sunshine was invisible and so was the sun. Your body releasing the max amount of dopamine and your face unable to hide that smile of satisfaction and happiness. When a man is so relaxed such as me sometimes, he nonsensically brings up something to disturb his comfort and so did I. I wondered what I had not to.
Wondered what is life, I took a sip of coffee to fake distraction but in vain. I Inquired this time that what is life? And I opened the book to fake another distraction yet I could not conceal the question somewhere within myself. And again, I inquired what is life? I asked another question what is the purpose of life? Is it the breathing process?
Curiosity expanded and questions and misery conquered me. I don’t know why but man falls short of happiness when he is living his best. But now the tyranny grew and the mind stood against me, against my comfort and against life itself to find out what life means to this working body. If ever to chase the meaning to life, lists of meaning might replete our thoughts, yet no satisfactory answer is to be found among them. Since life is different so is its meaning to individual beings.
Life is an unexpected series of happenings. It is the emotions that you hold within. It is the series of mistakes you deny and the praises you claim. The man who has understood life the most is the man who never pursued life even the least. The man of knowledge and calculations cuts off his present days to strengthen his future. He is a man of hope and fear.
Hope because he trusts himself and fear because trust is not always trustworthy. So, the man of fear and hope might find a balanced future but cannot find the meaning to life. He has already lost his present. Another man is lost in ifs and buts. He craves past and past presents nothing else than grief and sigh. He loses his present for his past.
So, a man of no present sense cannot find meaning in life. Hence, a madman who enjoys every moment of the present is the man who knows life better than others. Yet he unconsciously knows life how to be lived and the day he gets conscious, he loses a life, its meaning, and the purpose.
To me, life is like a sweetened candy which, later on, you come to know was expired. You just uncovered, dropped in mouth, licked with tongue, twisted among the teeth, and tasted with great satisfaction, but in total zero awareness. As soon you come to know it was expired, your body shimmers in panic.
The enjoyed and digested candy soon turns into a panic monster. Will I get a stomach ache? Will my hormones overcome this threat? Should I conduct to a doctor nearby or apply home remedies? Blah blah blah. Yes, this is the responsibility of a conscious mind and it is how it fulfills its duties even involuntarily at times. But what if you didn’t know it was expired? You would keep enjoying it. That is what life is to me. The total joy in unconsciousness and sufferings in consciousness.
Life is a befriend of death and it struggles each second to get closer and closer to death. Therefore, whatsoever death demands, life works on it. Suffering takes us closest to the dark reality of death, and, to me, that is what life is: suffering. The man of life is the one who finds joy within suffering and as the suffering grows, the human knowledge and wisdom expand. He perceives his strength which defends him from failures, pressures, responsibilities, and grief and he becomes aware of his weaknesses and vulnerabilities which causes him all failures, pressures, and grief.
Life is but solitude. It is beautiful and it is much decorated with flowers flourished all over it just like a grave. You find a crowd of familiar faces and strangers praying, showering love, and supporting you, yet the whole crowd and their praises and prayers seem meaningless.
It is that clap that kills a mosquito. Anticipations and hope from foreign selves are the risks we take to overcome loneliness and the more it turns into belief, the weaker we get. With learning the skills of expectations, we master in defeating our self-strength. The more we get jolly and joyful finding a huge mass of support, we end suffering and we end consciousness.
The pride, arrogance, and godly beliefs, I trust, are the wisdom tools to those who unconsciously find themselves living: the weak and the fools. This is a total mislead and misfortune of a human, of our kind, mighty and weak, thinking of life a bed of roses.
Man of true wisdom keeps calm, ignores pride, believes in mortality, and accepts suffering. He knows that suffering empowers him with self-awareness and self-prohibitions. Thus, the human mind and body when accepting suffering enjoy the suffering. One must suffer to overcome pain; one must suffer defeat to taste victory and similarly one must suffer to understand life. Since existence is suffering, life is suffering and finding meaning beyond those suffering.
How cruel I am to myself, I thought, that I blame my existence and blur the happiness. Do I disrespect God and his beautiful creation? Do I unfold another chapter of devilish thoughts? Am I a pessimist who believes God has gifted us life and I name life as suffering? I don’t know, I don’t know life and I am a forbidden creation. How can I think of godly beliefs and trust myself more than my creator? Another day of critical thinking and another day passed in suffering from my thoughts. Not my fault, as I said man of comfort like me is always his own enemy. I better enjoy the rain and my coffee and my book. So, I focused on my book, once again, and this time I deceived and distracted myself and my thoughts successfully.